There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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