i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
