that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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