party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
