how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize