Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
