were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
