walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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