It's like God shit irony all over that family
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
