been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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