I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
