The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
