My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
