I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
