Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
