I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
