dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize