girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish you could order shots online.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
