i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My penis needs a shock collar
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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