Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
