I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
