just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
