I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
