My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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