What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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