I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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