I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
