Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
