Your face is a jimmy john
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
