just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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