Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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