she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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