Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
