jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
