For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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