My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
