bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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