Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and she was petting her beer can
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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