question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
