I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
