I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
