We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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