I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
whose parrot is this?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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