physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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