So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
