i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize