You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
