He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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