How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
