Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
