areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize