so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sext me about skeletons
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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