Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
