yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just pynch a tree in the face
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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