Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
