i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
