did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
