I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
