"it" just moved
I am spending my child support on dildos
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
