we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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