I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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