Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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