Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
