There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
