And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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