He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
