1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
