you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
