He uses pillows to masturbate.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize