Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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