I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize