I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
