My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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