How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
