i can't believe i had my finger in that
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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