sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
