I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
