At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize