sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
