i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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