Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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