Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
