dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
