Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
