I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
