I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
