You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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