I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
