Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
